HUGE NEWS!

Ok, at least it is if you are from the United States. Generally, when an academic year ends, teachers are given the usual gift cards to Starbucks, Barnes&Noble Book sellers, etc. In addition to all that usual crap, I was handed, tonight, the most treasured gift in all of my 12 years of teaching. Wait for it . . . . a bottle of 18 year old single malt scotch. That's correct. Finally, a student's parents understand what keeps us teachers going, ALCOHOL!!! I raise a toast to you dear parents, as I drain a dram of this cherished liquid, and I vow to return to fight another year!

Cyanide and Happiness

I just love these comic strips!

Well, well, well . . .

After so much sadness, I'm happy to report a bit of a different experience. I attended an annual party at one of my very good friend's houses. The guest list for this party is comprised mostly of young professionals with children who have a few drinks and appetizers, then head for home to relieve the babysitter before midnight. These parties are always enjoyable, in the polite conversation with people you see a couple times of year sort of way. This year was a bit of a different affair; it was the perfect storm for a legendary gathering.

To describe the event in detail would cheapen the evening, if that is even possible. So to avoid such a literary tragedy, I will give the brief synopsis that has been circulated amongst those of us sober enough to remember the evening in its entirety. And so. . . .

Four people fell down and shattered their martini glasses, one person bled, two people caught on fire, three people vomited (one of which was in the kitchen sink), and I got propositioned for a threesome with a married couple. Epic!!

Basta!

(This paragraph was written 2 weeks ago, but not published)

Enough is enough. At this point in life I do realize that bad things happen, people make stupid choices, and death is inescapable. But, seriously? Is this all necessary? A week ago one of my students committed suicide; it was seriously unexpected, inexplicable and leveling. In all the years I have taught, I have never been in a school when a successful suicide has happened. Yup, kids have died in car crashes and from illness, but not an intentional suicide. It has really fucked me up. I'm educated in mental health, I've been around this age group for years; it doesn't make an ounce of difference. The emotional spectrum associated with suicide is really quite staggering. I have gone from so sad breathing is almost intolerable, to so angry if the kid wasn't already dead I would make him so, to just simply numb and lost. And not to ignore the bleeding of one emotion in to another, I have laughed, to the point of peeing a little, over snippets of statemtents that really arent' that funny. Oh, and did I mention that because of what I teach, all of the students believe that I am a clinical psychologist, thus I have been dealing with getting them through their grief, delivering my lectures, and licking my own wounds with a face of stoic leadership. Quite frankly, I'm exhausted and desperatley in need of summer vacation.

Cut to a few hours ago. I have now been informed that another of my students, one who has been absent for a few weeks, has not really been ill. She has been "ill". The root of her "illness" is the serious attempt at suicide she made the day after the previous student's services. FUCK, are you kidding me!!! She will be returning after a stint in a hospital to get her stabilized and into regular therapy. What is going on in this world? When I was in high school, we just got drunk, stoned, or fucked to express anger/rebellion at the world. How can we as professionals be missing so much of what is happening with these kids?? Why is this planet so afraid of mental illness that it makes teenagers terrified to reach out for help and instead put a noose around their young necks and end any chance for a better life?? What are we doing wrong?? FUCK!!!

I am sickened, saddened, frustrated, and wishing for an end to this academic year. I need time away from it all in a place where there is more sunshine than rain and loads of laughter. FUCK!!!

Always and forever

Some people will never fucking learn. A close friend just completed an intensive and EXPENSIVE marriage therapy weekend to save an endangered relationship that is marked by a spot or two of infidelity. In her recap of the weekend I believe the following description was included, "I sat by the absolute hottest fucking guy whose wife was not nearly in his league. He and I flirted the entire time and shared mutual feelings about how we married the wrong people. We exchanged contact info. Do you think I should email him so we can support each other in our attempts to save our marriage?" Hmmm, I don't know. Do you think being a vacuous, shallow, adulterous twat is really part of the relationship therapy process. FUCK!!!

Desperation

Seldom have I ever felt a sense of complete desperation. Even when I was 15 and had ridiculous amounts of unprotected sex and was late for my period, I felt less desperation than now. And no, I wasn't\am not a whore. I have a sister with a recently diagnosed chronic disease and an adult history of erratic irresponsible behavior. She is brilliant, beautiful, generous, kind of spirit, globally focused, and totally fucked up. She has held the threat of suicide over my parents head for the better part of 20 years. She is sane enough to pass any psych evaluation administered. She is kind enough to cry over the devastation she has caused our family. She is smart enough to know the free ride is ending and my parents and myself are about to pull the plug. She is selfish enough to expect her family to pay for her life of childlike behavior all the while disguising it in cognitive dysfunction. She is terrified of living a life of adult responsibility. She is an idealist who cannot cope with any ounce of imperfection; she would rather claim mental instability than acknowledge that life is about compromise. She is a person that I love intensely and hate immensely right now. She has brought about a sense of desperation, that I have never experienced, in my life. I am quite frankly terrified for the loss of and also continued existence of my sister. My heart and soul hemorrhage. . .

Buon San Valentino a tutte/i

Clearly, I'm not a Valentine's enthusiast; but this shoutout to love was too good to ignore! Nice to know its true, love really is blind. Image is courtesy of Lionshead Studio.





More importantly, I was informed of an up and coming holiday, Steak and Blowjob Day, March 14th. If the men do a bang up job of making that special someone feel the love on Feb. 14th, they get the love back on March 14th. Sad, really, that a holiday has to be declared to increase the amount of "oral" demonstrations of love shown to men! Heehee. . .